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Thursday, 9 May 2013

Cross the river and get on the bus...we're gonna have a baby today!

If you were a mom in labor here in my neighborhood on this island nation here's how your baby's birthday might play out:

1. Get your clothes, baby blankets, chord clamps, and food together. 

2. Get on an innertube and cross a river that is 60 ft. from side to side

3. Walk a half mile and then stand on the road to wait for public transportation

4. Pile onto the back of a flatbed truck with 40 other people.

5. After traveling 20 minutes you will arrive at the hospital. Now walk past 6 security guards with clubs and up to the maternity ward.

6. Here you sit on a bench for a couple hours (unless you are really making enough of a ruckus that the nurses fear imminant birth)

7. You pay the equivalent of $15 USD and are escorted into the delivery room, alone.  Try not to slip and fall on all the "birth fluids" all over the floor.

8. You are one of 14 women and there are 7 beds.  So, you are shown where a bucket is, told to fill it up and go take a "bucket bath."

9.  Now there are 3 chairs and if those and the beds are full, you get to walk or sit on the floor.  Happy laboring!

10. If a bed opens up, there will be a cervix check. Then you will be free to walk, sit, lay and just get through labor.  You are not allowed though, to be noisy.

11. Every few hours you will be checked on.

12. "Let us know if the head starts coming out!"

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